separated at birth, pt II

has anybody ever seen these two in the same room together ??

1. green bay's coolest singlespeeder ben-g:



and 2. skateboarding & MTV mega-star rob dyrdek:

inconvience in animation

as an update to the broken wrist . . . . . it now appears that i have reached the age where it is actually more advised to throw parts away as i wear them out, as opposed to bothering to fix them. which wouldn't be that alarming if we were talking about an appendix, or a hairy mole or something. but for guys at my age we now put actual parts of the skeletal structure ( freaking RIGHT ARM, no less )into that category. break a bone ?? screw it, lets just go in there and hack it out and toss it in the incinerator - i will evidently be better off. i gotta admit i did push for it a bit, as with the old haggerd bone in there i may not be able to ride, or least i would have to get a susp fork ( !!!!!!! ). screw that noise, say i. take that sucker on outta there !!!

gotta admit, it is appealing from the weight loss perspective. and bonus !!! instant improved flexibilty to boot. there are definately upsides to being so old that my animation of my decrepit body is little more than a medical inconvienience.

speaking of bonus, check out my 74 y/o dad's new ride:



mucho fun to drive. the old man walked into his local dealer and plunked down for it recently. not dead yet, i guess.

nice end to the year

Broken lines, broken strings,
Broken threads, broken springs,
Broken idols, broken heads,
People sleeping in broken beds.
Ain't no use jiving
Ain't no use joking
Everything is broken.

in a fitting end to '09, i ate shit on an icy run at granite peak aboard my trusty jim rippey model snowboard, and broke my wrist. same one i had screwed together and re-assembled with a piece of cadaver bone back a couple summers ago. naturally, it is my right hand, so in addition to being refamiliarized with that unique brand of sickeningly sharp ache that keeps a guy up at nite, i also am enjoying the inconvienience that accompanies your dominant hand being less than dominant. new examples of this pop up all the time, such as trying to hold a cup of coffee, or open a sticky door. sweet.

not even my steven colbert wriststrong bracelet could save me.

so . . . . . . roller riding on the aero-bars is in order, maybe some running. brite side might be found in the fact that my swimming plan for the off-season is on a 6 week hold. :) and i can still XC ski, but it is gonna have to be no-poles sk8-skiing exclusively. a season of no-pole sk8-skiing is perhaps something only a singlespeeder would look forward to.

summbitch.

the best thing about swimming

gretchen decided to go rogue on our new-year resolution, and dragged my sorry ass to the pool a week early.

it has been a little while since i was at the pool, and i forgot how much swimming has in common with pounding yourself on the knuckles with a giant hammer. that being, both of them feel so darn good once you stop doing it.

you can take the fondo out of italy . .

but can you keep the italy in the fondo ??

i have watched and admired the gran fondo's since the days when they would be picured in winning magazine. now, after levi L's acclaimed gran fondo out in cali, they are popping up all over the place, including wisconsin. my initial impression was crazy-hell enthusiasm, but since then a few people have given me pause to wonder . . . . . .can this scene really transplant to america ??

i always perceived the whole bit about them to be true spectacles of gentleman-racing. probably "won" by a hi-profile recent ex-pro, but civilly and superbely and classily ridden by the masses. i know a lot of bike riders, but who other than russel fits that description on this side of the pond ?? what are the other 7999 guys gonna look like, and more importantly - RIDE like ??? !! ???

i dunno. maybe it'll be great, or maybe it'll be a nutcase crashfest of american hacks. maybe the only sure thing is i should really go to italy.

hate the game, not the playa

enuf with the snowshoing, already.

people, walking on water frozen or otherwise, is not a legitimate sporting activity. need proof ?? ask a 3 year old what is cool about snow - he or she can tell you it is fun to slide on. need further proof ?? how bout his:




look familiar ?? now, i am sure this seemed a right fine idea at the time. " hey, let's make some shoes for walking on water, like snowshoes !! " but, sometimes you need to step away from a good idea. here is another attempt:



let's look at that again, just so we are clear:




there is a reason that instead of constucting a giant reed bubble, and walking to The New World those cats make boats. or outrigger canoes. or reed rafts. or whateverthehell - point being they didn't try and walk here. snow is no different - SLIDE on it, my friends, do not trudge.

what is that old joke about mopeds . . . . . ???

. . . . something like "riding one is kinda fun - right to the moment somebody sees you doing it ( and yes i know the non-politically-correct versions of the joke, this is a family-friendly blog )".

anyway, there is little point in making fun of triathlons, as evidenced by this photo. plus, if you take every ridiculous part of the cycling world and condense it down - you have the triathlon cycling-market in its pure form. there is swimming involved, and getting off a perfectly good bike to run as well. the whole thing is beyond silly and foolish.

which is perhaps why i am gonna do one this summer.

honestly tho, i am in serious need of some quality time in getting back into some semblance of shape, and doing it from fear of dying in a half-ironman might be just the ticket. and, i have actually done one or two previously. just like the moped story, and tho it pains me to admit it, i had fun (and looked ridiculous). i expect more of the same. i am a horrible excuse for a triathlonist. i cannot swim without a wetsuit holding me up. luckily for me in triahlon-ing it is OK, even encouraged, to cheat by wearing a neoprene canoe on your person. i suck so bad at swimming when i use a kickboard i actually go backwards. pro swim-guru's have been rendered speechless by the shear ugliness of my flailing. back when gretchen and i did the ironman in madison a complete stranger told me i was going to die during our pre-race warm-up ( i am sure she was well intentioned ).

my feet are so wasted from being broken as a result of skateboarding my running is scarcely better than my swimming. i draft medium-speed walkers when i run to conserve energy.

i'd say the bike portion is my strength, but of course i cannot time-trial my way out of a wet paper bag.

on the brite side, it is in my hometown, and despite what you may hear, there are some cool people to be met in the otherwise vile arena of triatholism. in any event it doesn't matter - i stood on the scale the other day and desparate times call for desparate measures. all that flaling in the water that never did anything to me to deserve the abuse i am gonna be giving it, and innocent asphalt who my plodding feet will pummel might make lose a pound, and losing even one at this point instead of gaining another 20 a day like i have been doing will be worth it. Ok it won't be, but i'm doing it anyway.